I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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