This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
