sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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