I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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