The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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