the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
