Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
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I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
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Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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