We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize