so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
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It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
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I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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