ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
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