we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she pinky promised me she was 18
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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