don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
A bitchslap is in order.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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