Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
