Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
