i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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