never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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