we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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