just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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