these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
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You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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