I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I stole a fireplace last night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
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