i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
