I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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