oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
