How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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