just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
How does one acquire holy water?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
