We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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