I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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