is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
