My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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