I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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