Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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