I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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