went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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