I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
