wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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