So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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