Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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