It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
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its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
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I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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