I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
