Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
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airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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