he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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