Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I need moral support for this bender
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
