i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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