Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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