do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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