In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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