Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
