A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
