i just had sex bonerless
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
