I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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