dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
