she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
