ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
