I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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